


Where My Demons Hide

by Amethyst18



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3734335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethyst18/pseuds/Amethyst18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco Malfoy has been sentenced to death.  With Hermione and a ticking clock at his side, Draco will use his final hours searching for the one thing he never thought he’d find:  Redemption.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where My Demons Hide

Don’t want to let you down, but I am hell bound. Though this is all for you, don’t want to hide the truth. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide. Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside. It’s where my demons hide. It’s **where my demons hide.**

 

**_Present day. 3:30 AM. Three hours until sunrise._ **

The vial was the size of a single galleon.

Turning it over in his palm, Draco watched the tiny memory inside swirl around creating a cyclone of color.

He had saved this one for last, knowing it would be the most difficult to endure.

But it was also the single most important memory he had left.

With a deep sigh, he placed the tiny bottle carefully back on the table and sank into the plush armchair in the corner of the room. His head was pounding and his very bones seemed to ache with weariness. He hadn’t slept for days but it didn’t really matter.

_It would all be over soon._

He sighed again and tried to settle himself more comfortably in the chair. The only sound in the room was the continuous ticking of the Grandfather clock in the corner. It had been a gift from his mother and he had always been particularly fond of its rhythmic noise. But as he sat by the light of a dying fire, the constant sound was nothing but a painful reminder. A knife to the heart with every precious tick. He stared into the face of the clock, illuminated only by the fire’s orange glow, and for a slight moment, he wished there was a way to stop those seconds from passing.

Tonight there was nothing comforting about the passage of time.

He carefully placed a pale hand across his heart, pressing downward as though to squeeze the pain from his chest. There were still so many things he wanted to do, so many things he had left to say.

What he didn’t have was _time._

As he closed his eyes and tried to think about something other than what lie ahead, he heard a soft knock at the door.

Before his brain even had a chance to register his surprise, the door slowly swung open and she was standing in front of him, her chocolate brown eyes red rimmed and brimming with tears.

“Hermione,” he whispered into the darkness.

No sooner had her name left his lips was he up out of his chair and across the distance separating them. She wrapped her arms around him, almost crushing him, as sobs tore from her lips and shook her shoulders.

“Shhhhh...” he whispered against her hair, trying to choke back his own tears. “It’s going to be okay.”

Her sobs grew louder and she clung to him even tighter. “How can you say that?” she finally whispered.

With gentle fingers, he pushed the hair away from her face and kissed her cheeks. “Because I know _you.”_

She shook her head violently. “No…no…”

Over and over she whispered that single word until he finally led her over to his spot by the fireplace. He didn’t know what to say—he’d never been good with words—so he simply held her, hoping his embrace might somehow convey the feelings his silence held captive, all while trying to memorize the feel of her body pressed against his, the vanilla scent of her skin, the feather softness of her hair…

“How did you know I was here?” he asked once her tears had slowed.

She sighed. “Harry.”

Draco felt the lump in his throat grow bigger. He had been such a fool for most of his life, and here was more proof. “Another kindness, I see.”

Hermione looked up at him, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“When I asked to spend my last night in the manor, I knew it was a long shot. But he pulled every string possible to make my request a reality. And now you’re here…..” He paused, the lump in his throat was making it difficult to speak. “I was so wrong about him…Will you tell him for me?”

She nodded, her chest heaving as sobs shook her shoulders once more.

He enfolded her in his arms again and as he held her, he became painfully aware of the clock ticking away the time in the background. He tightened his grip as a single tear rolled down his alabaster cheek. Every precious second he had left he wanted to do _this._ To be with _her._ It was far more than he deserved…

When he thought back on his life, his victories, his defeats, his choices, his mistakes, he wasn’t surprised that he ended up here. But loving her…that was something he never expected. Something he never anticipated or planned on. But it _had_ happened and she had changed the very essence of who he was… He only wished they’d had more time.

_More time._

It always came back to that, didn’t it?

“Draco?” Her voice broke through his thoughts. “Is that a….”

She broke off and he didn’t have to look up to know what she had seen sitting on the table.

“Yes,” he answered, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “It’s a pensieve.”

“But why….what would you….”

“I’ve made so many mistakes in my lifetime, Hermione. Wronged so many people. ” He led her over to the table. “I can’t change the past, as much as I might want to, but seeing it all again—with _these_ eyes, the eyes of the man I am _now_ ….it’s the right thing to do.”

She placed a warm palm against his cheek, her eyes pained. “You don’t have to do that. Everyone has skeletons in the closet, things we wish we could undo.”

“Yes, but you and I both know, my crimes are far bigger than that.”

“But, Draco, you don’t have to punish yourself.”

He smiled then, her favorite crooked smile playing on the corner of his lips. “It’s not punishment, love. It’s redemption.”

He picked up the tiny vial from the table. “And this last memory is one I have dreaded. One that continues to haunt my dreams.

Hermione’s face suddenly paled. She didn’t even have to ask. It was the one thing they never spoke of. “That night here at the manor.”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“But why? It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Draco sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. “I was a coward, Hermione. I should’ve done so many things differently, but I was afraid….and when you were....” He turned away from her as tears threatened to choke him again. “I turned my back,” He finally whispered.

“What?”

“I turned my back. I couldn’t even watch.”

“Draco, we were children then….anyone would’ve….”

“No,” he interrupted. “Please, I know it’s hard to understand, but I have to do this. I have so little time left, Hermione.”

The reminder of time hung over them like a dark cloud and as full tears began to spill over her cheeks, she nodded in resignation.  
He kissed her gently on the forehead before releasing her and taking the stopper out of the vial. He gently poured the swirling silver contents into the shallow base of the pensieve.

Then, with a deep breath and one last look at her heart-shaped face, he plunged deep into the basin.  


 

**_April, 1998. The night Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley were brought to Malfoy Manor by Scabior._ **

He fell headlong into shadows until his feet finally hit the familiar tile of the manor.

When he straightened up, he could see that he was standing in the drawing room. His mother and father were standing in front of Greyback who held a girl captive in his arms.

_Hermione._

Draco felt his stomach churn violently, and he had to fight down the urge to run over and rip her out of the werewolf’s arms. Such was impossible, but the urge to do so was nearly overpowering.

“What about the Mudblood, then?” He heard Greyback growl angrily.

“Wait,” his mother piped up. “Yes—yes, she was in Madam Malkin’s with Potter! I saw her picture in the _Prophet!_ Look, Draco, isn’t it the Granger girl?”

Draco sucked in a sharp breath as he saw himself step around his father and peer carefully into Hermione’s face.

“I….maybe….yeah.”

His stomach rolled again and Draco choked back the bile that was coating his throat. He wanted to scream.

Then, the drawing room door opened and a woman’s voice cracked through the room.

“What is this? What’s happened, Cissy?”

_Bellatrix._

Draco watched in panic as she slowly circled the group of prisoners and leaned down to stare heavily at Hermione.

“But surely,” she said quietly, “this is the Mudblood girl? This is Granger?”

Lucius cried out in confirmation and Bellatrix began to cackle with glee.

Draco ground his teeth and moved closer to the fireplace. He watched himself as Bellatrix and Lucius began to argue over who would summon the Dark Lord, and then again as Bellatrix suddenly began to shriek wildly about a sword one of the snatchers held tightly in his hand. The original Draco stood there pale and stone faced as the events unfolded. Draco remembered the way the fear had practically eaten him up inside. It was disconcerting to watch.

Then finally, he heard his aunt bark out an order. “Wait,” she said sharply, “all except….all except for the Mudblood.”

He heard Greyback grunt in approval as Ron began to scream wildly before being forced from the room.

Draco watch frantically as Bellatrix dragged Hermione across the room by her hair and his original self turned away from what he knew was about to happen.

 _Such a coward,_ Draco thought to himself, truly disgusted by his own past.

And suddenly Hermione was screaming.

Draco thought he was prepared for it, but when her bloodcurdling scream shattered the silence of the house, he felt like his very soul was being sheared in half.

Bellatrix was screaming at Hermione and he could hear the swish of her wand and she used the Unforgiveable over and over again. Hermione’s agonizing cries of pain were almost more than he could bear. To experience it the first time had been horrible—her cries still haunted his nightmares after all-- but to witness it again in this way was excruciating.

He fell to his knees as he watched Hermione writhe on the floor, tears coursing down his face. He hated himself in that moment, wished against all logic that he could strike Bellatrix down and take Hermione away where she would never be harmed again.

But there was nothing he could do.

So, he watched every single moment, never taking his eyes off of her face.

It was only when she sank into unconsciousness did the colors begin to swirl once more and he found himself falling headlong once more into darkness.  


 

**_Present Day. 5:00 am. One and a half hours till sunrise._ **

Draco rose up out of the pensieve and found himself crouched on his knees in the safety of his room. Wet tears still covered his cheeks and his chest ached where his heart hammered away painfully.

He felt warm hands clutching his shoulders and he lifted his head to see her wide brown eyes staring back at him. He reached for her and together they comforted each other.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her curls. “I should’ve--”

“Don’t,” she whispered back fiercely. “Please, just don’t.”

“I had to see it,” he continued. “I had to face my cowardice. Here in these last final hours, I wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know that I had faced them all….all the demons that have haunted me all these years. I was once a coward, but no longer… I’m not that man anymore."

Hermione gripped his fingers tightly. “No, you’re not, and you listen to me, Draco Malfoy. You need to hear this. I forgive you. Do you hear me? I _forgive_ you.”

Draco grabbed her face and brought his lips crashing down on hers, their tears mixing together. Deep inside of him, he felt his heart crack open, a fissure he never knew existed, and her words filled him to the core.

_Forgiveness._

It was what he had been searching for but was too afraid to request.

It was the redemption he had never thought he’d find.

In the background, he could hear the clock ticking loudly.

They would be coming for him soon.

But now, the passage of time no longer frightened him. His journey, so fraught with mistakes and regrets had led him to this moment—the moment where, for the first time in his life, he felt at peace.

And he would make every second count.

Until his clock stopped ticking.

**Author's Note:**

> So....apparently, I wrote this fic two years ago for the DramioneLove Spring-Summer 2013 fest. I don't really remember writing it and had forgotten it until now. I think it's because my twins were barely a year old and I was still in the new mom (aka walking zombie) phase. Anyway, I discovered it tonight and wanted to share.
> 
> Here are the original notes:
> 
> The main inspiration for this fic actually came from the recent passing of Cory Monteith. As a fan of Glee, I was shocked and saddened to hear of his death. When I started writing this story, I originally planned to go in a different direction, but with Cory on my mind and the stories of his constant struggles with his own demons—demons that he was ultimately unable to escape— this little ficlet was born. I sincerely hope I have managed to do his memory justice, as well as answer the prompt. Many thanks to my awesome beta, Ashleyfanfic, who never fails to encourage me when I freak out and feel like everything I write is crap. Also, it is very important to note that the dialogue in the second section of this fic was borrowed directly from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. This was done intentionally to make the scene as realistic as possible. No copyright infringement was intended and all credit goes to J.K. Rowling. The quote at the beginning and the title is taken from the song "Demons" by Imagine Dragons.


End file.
